It's not Kidnapping if They Say Yes
by infraredphaeton
Summary: and it involves a duck. KLAINE  The Dalton boys are dorks when they're at McKinley, too. Blaine just wants a date. Rachel protects the sanctity of the New Directions setlist. Not that she needs too. SPAH! verse part 2


Title: It Isn't Kidnapping If They Say Yes (And it Involves A Duck)

Rating: PG-13  
>Spoilers (If any): Never Been Kissed, for the existence of Blaine, Wes and David.<br>Warnings (If any):mild swearing, silliness, my interpretation of the Dalton Boys  
>Word Count:1031<br>Summary: The Dalton boys are dorks when they're at McKinley, too. Blaine just wants a date. Rachel protects the sanctity of the New Directions setlist. Not that she needs too.  
>an: I like these guys. Once again, this was written right after NBK. Pretty soon it turns AU-ish. Part 2 of Spah!

"Hey, Kurt." Blaine smiled at him, with every bit of charm he could muster. That was hard when David was practically lounging on him, and Wes stood behind him with a solid frown and crossed arms, ready to bust a face if anyone threatened either of his friends.

"Blaine?" Kurt smiled, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's a Friday, you have a double free at the end of the day, and there's a pretty good band playing at this little restaurant we know. So I came to pick you up."

"We came to pick you up," David corrected him.

"Uh. Sure. Wait, how late?" Kurt asked, pulling out his phone.

"Their set starts at six, ends around eight." Wes said, glaring at a jock carrying a slushie, who had been making a beeline for Kurt.

He seemed to change his mind when he saw Wes' glare.

"That sounds great," Kurt flashed them a quick smile, "let me just text my Dad."  
>"No problem," Blaine said, trying to emit enough cool to make up for David draped over his shoulders.<p>

"Now, Kurt. We like you," Wes said, waving a hand in the air, "we think of you fondly."

"SPAH!" David chirped, grinning.

"...thank you, David. And we want you to know that you're an honorary...well, not a Warbler, because Eric would go feral if we suggested that the competition was allowed to join."  
>"The boy is feral," David agreed, adjusting his grip on Blaine's arm.<p>

"But, anyway. You're one of us. But if you hurt Blaine, we hurt you."

"But we'll feel bad about it." David interrupted earnestly, "We like you."

"Oh yeah. Definitely feel bad about it. It'd be like hurting a kitten." Wes nodded.

"And we wouldn't hurt you too bad. It probably wouldn't be your fault. It'd probably be the fault of someone here."

"In which case, we have a plan to kidnap you and bring you back to Dalton."

"We have diagrams and everything."

"It's all very complex. There's a duck involved."

"...Just ignore them, Kurt. They haven't had their appearing-in-public pills today," Blaine said, shrugging David off.

"Oh no," Kurt said, smirking evilly, "I think it's kind of...endearing."  
>"I knew you would hold that against me," Blaine said, shaking his head.<p>

"Double Oh Approves!" David cheered, and high-fived Wes.

"I like feeling approved of," Wes confided loudly, "it's like a warm feeling in my chest."

"Like eating spicy curry," David agreed.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate you today?" Blaine asked his friends politely.  
>"No, actually." David sighed.<p>

"We were starting to feel unloved," Wes said, and David nodded.

"Well, I hate you." Blaine grumbled, and David ruffled his hair.

"You...are all far more insane than I had previously thought," Kurt frowned, looking between the three.

"I apologise for our behaviour," Blaine said, giving Kurt a charming smile, "it's one of our favourite bands that's performing, so we're all a bit excited."

"SPIES!" A high pitched shriek came from the room Kurt had just exited.

"JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A GLEE CLUB, GET IN THE CAR!" David shouted loudly, grabbing Blaine by the tie.

"Yes, David, we noticed." Blaine said, rolling his eyes.

Wes and David were too busy laughing to notice Blaine's disdain.

"You're here to spy on us," declared the brunette girl they all recognised as the soloist from regionals.

"I thought we were to pick up double oh adorable for a hot date," Wes said blandly, smiling at the assembled mass of the McKinley High School New Directions.

"You're the Breadsticks guy!" Mercedes declared, and Blaine smiled charmingly.

"That's me. Guy who took Kurt to Breadsticks. So, do I have your permission to take Kurt a little further a field?"

"Why are they taking Kurt to a field?" asked one of the cheerleaders.

"He's like a gay Jesse! Stop him, Finn!" The soloist said dramatically, pointing a shaking finger at Blaine. The entire group turned glares on him.

Wes glared back, crossing his arms menacingly.

"I know Krav Maga," he announced.  
>"Finn! Stop him!"<p>

"What?" Blaine asked, now completely confused.

"Rachel, calm down. Blaine is nothing like Jesse," Kurt said scathingly, "for one thing, he has a soul. For two, I don't think he practices a 'show smile' for an hour every day. Do you?"

"No." Blaine laughed.

"No, he practices his charming smiles." David added.

Blaine smiled at the angry glee club.

"Yeah, that's smile number four." David observed.

"You do not yet know me well, but you will soon bow and worship at the church of Blaine. Also, ignore these two, they aren't with me. I don't know them. I have no idea why they're hanging all over me." Wes explained.

"Honestly, people... And Rachel," Kurt qualified, after a second, "It'll be fine. We're going to watch a band."  
>"We will also ply you with frozen coffee drinks," David offered, bringing out his trump card, "Possibly chocolate-y pastries, too."<p>

Kurt's pocket began to play Bad To The Bone. He pulled out his phone.

"And Dad has just given me permission to go out, so don't even think about pulling the parent card, Finn Hudson." Kurt said cooly.

The other soloist, the guy, closed his mouth rather than actually saying something.

"So, I will be going now. I'll see you all on Monday. Except you, Finn. I'll see you at dinner." Kurt nodded sharply, and then swaggered towards the exit.

"Blaine, he's leaving." David poked his friend in the stomach, "Which means we have to go to. You can't just stare at his- admittedly fine for a guy's- ass until he's out of sight."

"Dude. Crossing the line there." Wes warned.

"I miss Miranda," David admitted, "let's go, before I start throwing myself at the cheerleaders."

"...I don't think I could catch you," said a vapid looking blonde.

David blinked, "Wait...What?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and jogged after Kurt.

"Come on, David. Time and tide, and Blaine, wait for no one." Wes said.

"But...Wait, what?" David frowned, and Wes rolled his eyes, dragging him out to the car.

"I still think they're trying to steal our setlist," Rachel declared, crossing her arms.


End file.
